The present story of the abduction, gang rape (multiple times) and murder of an 8-year old girl in a temple in India has forced me to contemplate on the various situations of casual sexism, jokes around rapes and the commodification of the female body that I have encountered. All these situations have made me hate the words “joke”, “fun” or “being casual”.
I recollect all the times when someone tells a sexist joke and I do not laugh and then I am told, “don't be a killjoy! थोड़ा enjoy कर लो यार.” Or the times when rape is presented as a joke in movies or family shows on television and one is supposed to laugh and if I argue that this is what normalises rape, I am told, 'इस से कुछ नहीं होता, यह तोह entertainment है, reality नहीं है.'
Or the innumerable times when non-sensical Whatsapp messages stereotype women's roles as a wife, a girlfriend or objectifying any and every part of a female body; all of this has contributed to what we in India are faced with today - rapes of 8-year-old girls in temples. And I have come across all these situations with the most “educated cultured youth belonging to respectable families of our country”, which has also made me doubt the meaning of “being educated” or progress for that matter.
In addition, look at all the small useless things we fret with - whose role is what, who is supposed to behave in what way; the constant scrutiny and direction of a woman's life from birth to death (मतलब इतना टाइम है फालतू!). If this was not enough, we even take pride in justifying such countless illogical traditions and customs in the name of preserving our culture. We never realise that this leaves half the population of our country disempowered, uneducated and immensely vulnerable in all aspects. अब कहाँ है culture?
So, before blaming anything or anyone again, maybe look at your HOME because all these instances happen in those family chat groups or in family gatherings or on family shows. The power of communication, technology, illogical traditions and customs and the power of a non-sensical mind should not be under-estimated. We have no idea where all this communication comes from or goes to and internalises or normalises someone's idea of a girl, a woman, a female body.
If you do not have the brains to have an opinion or the courage to take a stand, then please please do not contribute to the already worsening situation by mindlessly forwarding texts, sharing anything on social media or for that matter laughing on anything to fit in or be cool. It is a sin now like seriously.
Oh but wait, we are in India. हम fun करते हैं, हम cool हैं. तोह चलो अपने whatsapp groups पे और sexist jokes बनाएं, rape का मज़ाक उड़ाएं, और यह बार बार करते रहे जब तक सब को यह normal नहीं लगने लगता. और और औरत को घर में बंद कर दें बिना सर पैर के त्यौहार और रीति रिवाज़ से.
With this story, I reach a saturation point where I choose to dissociate with the spirit of the nation, of the 'सारे जहाँ से अच्छा हिन्दुतान हमारा' emotion, of the 'united we stand divided we fall' motto we are educated with or the 'proud history of independence' which we remember with a tear in our eye. Because I refuse to be part of this unity; I am not this unity.
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