Note: Names of the children have been changed to protect their identity. In addition, all details and stories of the session have not been shared here to respect the emotions of the children.
This blog post is the fourth, in the series of posts, describing the experience of conducting life skills sessions at Delhi's red light area, G.B. Road.
I no longer feel skeptical to talk about anything with these beautiful children. They are vibrant, bright, confident, courageous dreamers! And not just dreamers, but dreamers with goals.
Dealing with any kind of change comes as a very tough task for all of us. They say that change is a part of life, change is the only constant. However, no matter what anyone says, dealing with change happens at a very individual and personal level. Dealing with change is unique to each one of us. As we grow old, it only becomes harder. This is because as we grow older, we tend to have some strong views, beliefs, and strong perceptions of the environment we live in. Children also find it hard to deal with change. However, they see the world through a completely different lens - a lens that is not marred by any assumptions, negative perceptions or the distinctions of right and wrong. This makes the process of dealing with change for them much easier. The question is - is having those strong perceptions and beliefs essential to the process of growing up? Why do we struggle to deal with changes around and within us?
Before the Session
As I entered the lovely SPID-SMS Centre, one girl shouted, "Pankhuri didi aa gayi!" (Pankhuri Didi has come!). I felt at home. Many other children gathered around and we sat outside the room for some time. They excitedly told me about the function they had on Independence Day - the vibrant dance, songs, food etc. Some of them are so passionate for dancing that despite being ill, they not only danced, but also made others dance in sync, just in a matter of few hours. Then one child asked me if I had thrown away the bits of papers from the previous session, on which they had written their failures and hurdles to their dreams (Skills for Life Session 3 - Dealing with Failures). I emphatically and proudly said yes! They smiled.
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| Some dreams do not let us sleep. End Human Trafficking. |
Then they saw the mehendi in my hand. They asked me excitedly as to what was written on my hand. I replied - read it for yourself. So they started to read and curiously asked the meaning of each word that was engraved on my hand. The purpose of writing these words seemed complete. My heart smiled as they held my hands, sat on my lap, and started chirping around like little birds. How I adore them!
Start of the Session
The session started by asking them to write down the changes that have occurred in their lives in the past few years. Efforts were made to explain that they can write about anything, from the changes in their hairstyle to the changes in their life goals. Lalitha ji added that they can write about the changes in their body, the place they live, the food they eat, the friends they have made etc. Children started to write.
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| "Our school uniform has changed. Now I am in 4rth grade. My hair style has changed now. Pankhuri Didi has started to come now. We were not studying well before. Now, we study well. I was very little before. Now I am a big girl." |
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| "There have been many changes in my life. The biggest change is that now I can study well. Before, I used to get angry a lot. Now, I do not get angry. Because of Lalitha Mam, there have been many good changes in our lives. I have to bring many more changes in my life for myself." |
Then there was a small discussion where children read what they had written and how they feel about it. There were emotions and feelings ranging from happiness, to struggling to make their way through these changes.
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| "I didn't know how to dance two years ago, but now I know to dance well. I used to abuse before, but now I have started to do that very less. Before, we boys used to fight with girls, but now we fight less. Before, my hairstyle had spikes, now I keep them simple. Now I study a bit more." |
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| Continued from the picture on the left: "Before my parents didn't allow me to stay in this centre but then my teacher talked to my parents. Since then, I have been living here and I like it here. Since the time I am staying in this centre, my life has started to change." "For the next one week, I will not fight and I will complete my home work. And I will not talk while studying." |
Then a video of Kiran Bedi was played (Video link), showing how she adjusted to the environment of the Tihar Jail when she was first posted there. She just did not accept change, but also took on the responsibility to set things right. She transformed the prisoners there from aggressive to peaceful human-beings. Lalitha ji added and explained how we can bring positive changes around us for the benefit of the society. And how it is up to us to transform difficult situations to great opportunities.
Efforts were made to give more examples where people reacted positively to change. Children also shared their experiences of reacting positively to change namely, adjusting in a new home, with new friends, etc.
A video of the famous and renowned dancer Sudha Chandran was played. Children were then asked if they noticed anything unusual in the video. All of them unanimously said no. Then they were told that Sudha Chandran met with an accident and she has an artificial leg. Despite this, she crossed all failures and adapted to this change boldly, courageously and went on to become one of the greatest dancers this world has. Children could not believe that she was dancing so perfectly with an artificial leg.
The following story was then narrated -
A little kid used to go to a candy shop every Sunday with his father. The shop owner used to offer him to take out as many candies as he wants from the box. Each time the kid used to thank the shopkeeper and refused to take any candy. Every time the shop owner used to draw out candies himself and give it to the kid filling both his tiny hands (actually the kid was really smart and knew that the shopkeeper’s hands are big and he would take out more toffees each time from the box).
They were then told that when we try and take what we want from the box, we can take limited things. But when God gives us, it will always be more than what we can take. All new situations and changes are God sent, it will only help us pick up more. Lalitha ji related this to their own example. When children are asked to distribute biscuits themselves, then some may take more and some might get less. But when she gives them to all, every child gets biscuits to their satisfaction. Therefore, having patience and belief while sailing through change will make us all happy.
They were were then asked to write down at least one thing that they would like to change about themselves or their environment. They were requested to imbibe this change for the next one week until the next session.
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| "I will not spend much time in taking a bath. I will also not hit any child and I will write my exams well. And I will not tease any child." |
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| "Until next week, I will not speak while eating and I will listen obediently to my teacher. I promise that I will not abuse and fight." |
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| "I will read at least one page of book every day because I want to improve my reading." |
The following lines were then narrated to the children, very beautifully conceptualized by fellow skills for life trainers, Abhishek and Chhavi:
"Kathin hai badlaav ka safar,
Karenge sweekaar use magar.
Naa manenge haar, naa chodenge kasar,
Kyunki yahi hota hai ek naya avsar."
(The journey of change is difficult but we shall accept it. We will not accept defeat and will try with all our will. Because, this is a new opportunity.)
Children were encouraged to repeat these lines after me. They spoke it with confidence and smiled and beamed with faith.
End of the session
As I was about to play songs and the children were about to write notes for the box of happiness, we were informed that the weather was getting bad and it was about to rain. Lalitha ji suggested that I start to leave, lest I get stuck in the heavy rain. So I bid bye to the children while asking them of what all they would like me to do in the next session. As always, they had some very vibrant and powerful ideas.
That day, as I was walking back to the metro station, I was smiling, remembering the time I had just spent at this beautiful place with the beautiful people. I also laughed remembering how skeptical I was in the beginning about my ability to take these sessions, about doing complete justice to the faith Kanu Ma'am and Laitha ji had reposed on me. But now, how things had changed! I have found a home here. That universe does sends us strong signals of hope. I thought - if such happiness and hope can exist in one of the darkest places in the world shunned as inhabitable and impure, then there is nothing in this world that is impossible. Words from Harry Potter flashed in my mind - Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light.
Indeed, there is someone, somewhere in every corner of this world, switching on that light of hope and happiness for us. We just need to keep believing and keep walking forward.
Yes, I am changing, with each subsequent session; I am becoming a better human being. After all, building strong perceptions or beliefs needn't be an essential part of growing older! For once, be open to change, embrace it with all your heart and experience the magic happening inside you! I hope to learn and change for good, every moment of my life.
Until next time,
Keep Embracing Change! :-)
P.S. The next time you say anything derogatory against these children or their mothers, think twice. These children are same as our children. In fact, most of them seem to have better values and life principles than we 'normal' people are able to impart to our children.
Special thanks to Skills for Life for designing this session. The session is far more enthralling than what has been described in this write up. :-)
*NOTE: It is suggested that anybody who wishes to work in this area, does so through an established and trusted NGO. This is not a place to explore casually; do take care of your safety first.
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