When I Met Oliver Page!

Image Copyright: Pankhuri                    Location: Brighton, United Kingdom               Taken on: October 6, 2015
Jon Cherry a.k.a Oliver Page at his sprawling chestnut stall with beautiful postcard pictures

As we returned back from the long amazing hiking trip to the seven sister's cliff in Brighton, we stopped by at the bright sprawling market area in Brighton to eat some food. As we sat at a Mexican restaurant named El Burrito, we saw a man selling chestnuts and dates at a small stall nearby. I went up to the stall and started looking at it. The man asked me, "Would you like to try some chestnuts, young lady?" I answered back, "No I am good. Thank you. I am just looking at the pictures. What are chestnuts by the way?"

He explained to me about chestnuts. And then he said with beaming eyes, "I like cherries in summer and chestnuts in the winter. I take care of my chestnuts." 

Then I went back to my table to join my friends for dinner. At the very next moment, I felt that he has something unusual, a story to tell, a story that I should hear (not sure why I felt this). I went up to him and asked,  "A few of my friends run an amazing production house in India, they click amazing pictures and write people's stories. I was just wondering if you would like to talk to me more." (not the best start to solicit a story but it worked here :D)

He told me to follow him inside the restaurant, outside which we were waiting for food. He pointed at a picture on a huge mirror, fitted perfectly on an ancient looking wall - the perfect amalgamation of the new and the old. He asked pointing at the picture, "Do you know this?" I said, "Yes, it is from the movie Titanic." He said, "This is me, this guy on the side. I am Oliver Page. They still send me money." I was startled! Like really? I looked at him and then at the picture and then back at him again. He smiled and walked away quietly. I followed him outside. We then started talking. He seemed a bit unusual to me but I was sure by now that he has done a lot of theatre - just from the way he was speaking, the way he was moving, gave me an indication that he has done theatre. 

He told me that he was born in London and then he grew up in the suburbs of London. He then got a scholarship later and moved to study in Texas. Then he moved to California and started doing theatre. 

I was hearing all of this and many more details intently. 

I asked him, "What made you setup this lovely shop in this beautiful town?" He answered, "I am too old to lie. I am too old to want anything from anyone else, that they would not gladly give me. The word home is hay, heaven. Right? People say the word is from Nevada. But it is not. It is like a chestnut. Here is my poem. This is for you:

Is it true, home is where the heart is?

Always moving 

Then far from home are also far from having a heart

My heart is here, now, with you

Let us call this home and now then

Knowing one future dorm will break across the bridges we travel here

Where our heart's longings will cease to ache

As natural home, the heart upon we make"

His eyes saw the tears in my eyes. And he said, "I wrote that poem and I am so proud of it. But I am so glad that you got it. My gift to you."

When I came back to the restaurant, the owner asked me, "How was your conversation with Jon?" I said, "Who Jon?" He said, "You know he is Oliver Page right? Jon Cherry is his original name. Oliver Page is for the audience." I said, "I am going to write about him. Thank you." I left a thank you note and left as the aroma of the warm hot Mexican food pulled me towards it. 

The 'Thank You' note travels to Brighton!

While I was sitting at the table to have dinner, Jon came to us and gave us chestnuts to eat. He took out a small bottle from his pocket and put some salt on the table. He said "Chestnuts taste best with the salt. Just try". We all were so hungry that we quickly finished it all. He left to attend his customers without taking money. I kept watching him all the time and then I waved him goodbye with a smile and a promise to return back.

As we departed, he shouted laughingly to Joseph at the restaurant and told us, "And Joseph tells me today morning that, "Jon you are adopted!"" He laughed and turned back to his chestnuts.

It is strange how some experiences turn out to be the best memories in life. I promise to return back to this wonderful place again to meet these beautiful souls. I am sure that no matter how much I describe such experiences, words will never be enough to describe the feelings and emotions of being in that moment with those people! 

:-)

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Solitary Souls

And there we all stand like solitary souls wishing to be a star in the sky.... a star that is our own.

Image Copyright: Pankhuri          Location: Seven Sister's Cliff, Brighton, United Kingdom        Taken on: October 6, 2015 

Struggling to make peace with beliefs I value - hope and faith.

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Just Don't Pray

Pray for the world, but also do something - anything that spreads a little more of love, gratitude, hope and peace - to make this world a better place - everyday.

The choice is ours - we can crib on the inaction and ignorance or do something ourselves - that marks our impression, our contribution, our bit - to spread hope and peace.

Some day some life will definitely benefit from what we do today.

Picture taken from Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10153207396053202&set=p.10153207396053202&type=3&theater 

#worldpeace #humanityindanger #actnotcrib

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Skills for Life Session 6 - Dealing with Emotions

Note: Names of the children have been changed to protect their identity. In addition, all details and stories of the session have not been shared here to respect the emotions of the children.

This blog post is the sixth, in the series of posts, describing the experience of conducting life skills sessions at Delhi's red light area, G.B. Road.

Before the session

Today, children were getting health checkup and therefore we did not have our usual room for conducting the session. Nevertheless, we found a small corner for ourselves where Lalita ji was sitting, some kids were sleeping and here we were - a bunch of extremely excited people eager to discuss what emotions are. We enacted all emotions we knew from happiness to sadness and from anger to excitement.

During the session

Children told me how they react when they are angry or what they do to show love - some hug each other, some simply smile while others jump in happiness. It made me wonder how easy it is to feel the different hues of emotions around us if we let ourselves free, if we just do not let the child in us die. Let the smile reach your eyes, jump when you are excited, laugh whole heartedly like nobody is watching, dance when you want to, get angry, cry your heart out. 

Their discussion left me thinking for a long time and I learnt a lot that day. As we get older, expressing emotions is considered 'childish'. We feel that we will be considered weak if we cry. It is not elderly to laugh out loud or to express anger in front of the people we are angry with. So we resort to alternate means - we talk behind people's back, we do not express love, we keep thinking what the other person might think and all of this culminates into what it was meant to be - us becoming idealised adults running and walking as this world wants us do. The result - we are deprived of these beautiful emotions that make us human.

So, when I was with these children, my faith in expressing emotions increased manifold. We shared stories, some personal, while others funny. We also shared how we manage some of the intense emotions like anger or frustration. We then linked this discussion to the previous sessions on dealing with failures or self-worth. As usual, I did not have to do anything. I was a mere facilitator in that room.

We also had moments of laughter in between. While Aseema was placing strands of hair back on my ears and trying to count them, Mrinal asked a question assuredly - "Didi, gin ne se baal kam ho jate hain na?" (Didi, if we count our hair, they become less no?) I laughed and I said to Aseema not to count my hair. We all laughed.

Then we shared some stories that made us understand the importance of expressing whole heartedly more intensely and freely. 

The elephant story

When an elephant is small, people tie it with a chain so that it does not go haywire. So, it become used to move in a particular radius only. But even when it grows up, it feels that the same rope is still tied. The thing that he does not realise is that now it is so powerful that it can break the chain. Break the cycle of fear and overcome it. You can do anything if u want.

Vivekanda story

Once Vivekanda was going through a jungle. Suddenly some monkeys surrounded him and started to growl. He was frightened and started to run because of the fear. There was a wise person who saw all this. He advised him not to run and instead stand still and look straight in the eyes of monkeys. When he did that all the monkeys ran away.

Fear is like those monkeys if you run away from it will haunt you but if you start to look straight it will vanish. Face your fears.

While we were discussing these stories, I realised that the most hated and difficult to deal emotion for these children is anger. So we directed our discussion solely to what anger is and how we can strive to manage it.

I asked them why do we get angry? They gave various reasons like fighting with a friend, seeing people fight on the streets etc etc. Then we tried to divide these reasons into three main groups namely:

1. Because of others’ behaviour
2. Because of situations
3. Because of self-behaviour

Then we discussed how the first two things are not in our control but the last one is. We are just wasting our energy if we are fretting and fuming. Its like adverse weather, we cannot change it but we can protect ourselves against it. As far as the last thing is concerned, this is in our control- change your behaviour instead of feeling guilty about it.

We discussed how anger is like an acid which harms not only the person on whom it is thrown but also to the container of the acid. Frustration and irritation are the children of anger only. These are the first stages of anger. If we control it at that level, chances of becoming angry are less. Children vented out how they deal with anger - some write, some keep it inside while other shout and fight. 

They were told - Wait for sometime and then respond, not REACT!

Children were left in some deep thoughts and then we directed the discussion towards how all these emotions make us who we are - we can become a happy content person or a sad frustrated person. It all depends on how we manage our motions.

After the session

After the discussion, we danced a bit and then I left the centre with a promise to return back. In my heart, I didn't want to return back for the last session. I didn't want it to be the last one. While walking away, I was thinking that I need to learn a lot to manage my emotions - I need to express more, I need to accept that it is okay to miss the place I love the most and that it is okay to share. I was fighting a battle of emotions inside me that day - one week left before I leave India for further studies. Was I prepared for it? Can I ever be prepared for it?

Until next time,

Stay calm!

P.S. The next time you say anything derogatory against these children or their mothers, think twice. These children are same as our children. In fact, most of them seem to have better values and life principles than we 'normal' people are able to impart to our children. 

Special thanks to Skills for Life for designing this session. The session is far more enthralling than what has been described in this write up. :-)

*NOTE: It is suggested that anybody who wishes to work in this area, does so through an established and trusted NGO. This is not a place to explore casually; do take care of your safety first.

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A Thank You Note - Transpiring boundaries

Image copyright: Pankhuri      Location: Waterstones, Gower Street, London, United Kingdom      Taken on: October 4, 2015

It has been almost two years since I started distributing thank you notes (More information on A Thank You Note).

I distribute hand-made thank you notes to people who through their services contribute in making our lives better. It is a ritual for me now. 

I shifted to London for further studies two weeks ago. And I continued this ritual here as well. It would not be an exaggeration to say that I have received the same amount of blessings, love, and happiness from people I distributed them to.

A small random act of kindness has immense power to spread a little more happiness in this world, only if we believe in it and commit to sustaining it. This is my contribution in making this world a more happy place. No, it isn't a selfless act. I am selfish because I am addicted to seeing the love and happiness in the eyes of people I distribute these notes to.

****

As I handed a thank you note to the person at the billing counter, he immediately stuck it on his desk and said, "You are such a kind artist. Keep clicking whatever you want to in this bookstore."

And then we had a long interesting chat, joined by some other people as well. 

Acts of kindness make us value and live life, the way it is meant to be lived. Isn't this what we are here for?

:-)

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Skills for Life Session 5 - Leadership

Note: Names of the children have been changed to protect their identity. In addition, all details and stories of the session have not been shared here to respect the emotions of the children.

This blog post is the fifth, in the series of posts, describing the experience of conducting life skills sessions at Delhi's red light area, G.B. Road.

Leadership cannot be taught or explained. For me, leadership is about being passionate enough to take ownership of something I really care about. 'Leadership through Ownership' is what I have learnt from a non-profit I worked with. 

Therefore, as I set out to tell these bunch of beautiful children about leadership, the first question that popped into my mind was (I deeply regret to have this question in my mind) that how is it even going to help them in coping up with the surroundings around them? Is it even worth telling someone about leadership when they are dealing with more basic questions in life because of the discriminatory circumstances they are in? But then I thought - these children have shown extraordinary passion and love for what they dream to be. They all have a leader inside them. It is time to bring the leader out!

Before the session

As I entered the sprawling premises of the SPID-SMS Centre, I was once again greeted by the children. They exclaimed - Didi aa gayi! Aisha eagerly handed me a bunch of stapled papers, which was an attempt to make a personal diary. It was titled - My life book. I asked her what it was about. She told me that she is going to write her experiences in this. The first page of this life diary had the following words - Main kamaal hun (I am awesome!). I felt so happy that children actually remember and believe in what was being conveyed in the sessions. Adheer came and told me that they had watched the poem 'Koshish karne walon ki kabhi haar nahin hoti' on television. I was once again glad to witness how children remember the sessions, how they relate to it post that, and how they happily tell me their experiences about the sessions. Akshay (my scientist boy) showed me a model that he had made of a rocket, inspired from Dr A.P.J. Abdul Kalam. I know in my heart that he will be a scientist one day, and I will smile watching him on the television.

Start of the session

The children were told to make a picture of a leader. Attempts were made to explain that it can be a person or a thing related to someone they look up to. Many of them drew their class leader, which showed a failure on my part to explain the idea of the activity well. However, many of them understood it well. Some drew their teachers, others drew people they aspire to be like, and so on.

My teacher is my leader. These are my friends and me.

"I want to be a doctor.
And my leader is my teacher."

Then a small activity was conducted. Asmita was blindfolded, a pen was thrown at a distance, and she was asked to search for it. Next, Dheer was blindfolded, a pen was thrown at a distance, and Drishti was asked to give him wrong directions to reach the pen. Lastly, Shrishti was blindfolded, a pen was thrown at a distcance, and Parineeta was asked to give her correct directions to the pen.

Through this activity, attempts were made to tell them that a leader ENABLES people to achieve their goals without directly doing the work himself/herself for them.

Then, Dr A.P.J. Addul Kalam's video (Video link) was played which describes his journey to successfully launch a rocket; leadership traits such as team spirit, dedication, passion, and belief helped him sail through. A small discussion was then held to understand if they were progressing in their udnerstanding about leadership. By now, for them a leader was someone they look up to.

The video from the movie Lagaan was played next. In the video, the actor motivates and gathers a team of people in a village to learn, play, and eventually win a cricket match against the Britishers so that they do not have to pay taxes. Traits of a leader such as being able to inspire, motivate, have courage, and impart hope clearly came through. Children were intrigued as to how a common man through leadership can change not just his/her life, but also the life of people around him/her for good.

End of the session

A small discussion was triggered through questions surrounding an everyday situation. Children were asked - if two of their friends were fighting, then what would they do? Some remarked they will take sides, while others said that they will try and resolve. Attempts were then made to tell them that leadership is about enabling, resolving, and uniting the team together. It is not about blaming or taking sides. Lalitha ji then furthered their understanding on leadership by telling them the difference between being a boss and being a leader. This helped in engraving the concept in their minds, to some extent.

As the session ended, the following questions were asked (in an attempt to link the previous sessions to this one):

Can we achieve our dreams?

Do we believe in ourselves?

Are we awesome?

Will we be afraid of failures?

Can we bring a change?

Are we leaders?

The answer to all the above questions except the last one was a unanimous yes. To the last question, some siad yes while the others said no. I left satisfied that it had atleast triggered a thought in their mind. 

A small spark to walk an incredible journey of leadership was clearly visible.

Some songs were then played while children filled the box of happiness. Post this, I left, only to return for the next session.

Until next time,

Find the leader inside you! :-)

P.S. The next time you say anything derogatory against these children or their mothers, think twice. These children are same as our children. In fact, most of them seem to have better values and life principles than we 'normal' people are able to impart to our children. 

Special thanks to Skills for Life for designing this session. The session is far more enthralling than what has been described in this write up. :-)

*NOTE: It is suggested that anybody who wishes to work in this area, does so through an established and trusted NGO. This is not a place to explore casually; do take care of your safety first.

Read More