Skills for Life Session 1 - Self-Worth

Note: Names of the children have been changed to protect their identity. In addition, all details and stories of the session have not been shared here to respect the emotions of the children.

This blog post is the first, in a series of posts, describing the experience of conducting life skills session at Delhi's red light area, G.B. Road.

As I entered the warm and welcoming premises of the SPID - SMS Centre on GB Road at around 2:30 p.m., the entire path that I had walked through to reach this place started to fade in my mind; the crowded road, the bustling traffic, the shops lined up on the ground floor on both sides of the road, the brothels on the floors above these shops decked up like ruined and tattered blocks of old monuments. If you do not know about this place, you cannot really know that this is a red light area. It looks like any other area in Old Delhi.

As I reached the centre, situated adjacent to a police station, I knocked on the door. I was greeted by one of the kindest men I have ever met. This man takes care of the children at the shelter. He is one of those people who is extremely proud of and immensely satisfied with his work. He told me that he has been working at the centre since 2012 and this is all that he does. The smile and pride did not leave his face even for a second. I felt inspired. Thanks to him, my nervousness stated to decay. He took me to a small room where children had just finished their lunch.  Lalitha ji was finishing her lunch and she offered me some. I already had lunch, so I told her that may be next time I will share lunch with her.

After finishing her lunch, Lalitha ji took me to another room where she introduced me to the children. I requested her that it will be great if we can have empty space in the room where children can move around freely. So the children started to gather their desks on one side of the room. I have to tell you about these desks. They work as beds, study tables and also dining tables.

The Box of Happiness!

As the children started to empty the room, I kept a small box called 'Khushiyon ka Pitara' or the 'Box of Happiness' on a chair with some empty papers and pens. Children started to gather around and ask about it. I told them that it was a surprise.

Start of the session

As the children started gathering in the centre of the room, I told them to spread themselves out freely. Then we started with an ice breaker. One by one, children stood up and enacted what they want to be in life. Other children guessed and then the child told his/her name. 'Mera naam Anushka hai aur main Police banna chahti hun' (My name is Anushka and I want to be in the Police), 'Mera naam Sahil hai aur main Scientist banna chahta hun' (My name is Sahil and I want to be a Scientist). So we had future scientists, dancers, actors, police, soldiers, officers, musicians and doctors, all in one room. It always helps to know what children aspire to be. I then like to call them like this - Scientist Sahil, Doctor Ritika, etc. Children feel good because this makes them believe that we have faith in their ability to become all that they want to be. 

The session started by telling them that this is their space, they can be themselves; we will always have a circle of trust around us during these sessions, which means that anything personal that is shared here will not go outside this circle; this is our world; this is our family. They all nodded. I know it will take time to build trust but at that point of time, it was important to let them know that I was not there to lecture them on anything; but to listen to them like a friend, to learn from them and may be in the process help them in whichever way I can.

Activity One: My Life Circle

We started the discussion like this:

Me: Do you know what is  'aatm vishwas' or self-confidence? 

Children: May be it is something related to ghosts.

They said so because 'aatm' sounds like 'aatma', meaning souls which roam around after their death. 

Me: Do you know what 'bharosa' or trust is?

Children: Yes. 

Me: Aatm is self. So aatm vishwas means having faith in ourselves. Khud pe bharosa karna aatm vishwas hai. But why do we need to have faith in us?

One child: Because then we are able to do what we want to do. 

Another child: If we don't trust ourselves, we will not be able to achieve our dreams.

Third child: We need to trust others as well.

We continued this discussion for a while and the children shared some of their stories and their understanding on self-worth,confidence and faith.

The entire "life Circle'
activity sheet

The activity sheet was distributed to the children, where they were required to fill colors in circles. Circles represented their friends, family, themselves, the world and their future. They were supposed to fill colors they relate to each one of these in their life. Each child was mentored and facilitated during this activity, to ensure that they get the best out of this activity. Only one child could not relate to this activity and was very hesitant in even picking the colors. He cannot speak and seemed very very shy, but he had the most beautiful smile, which will never leave my heart. So we both together started filling colors for the sake of coloring and not for the activity.

"I have faith in my future".

"There is peace, happiness and
greenery in my world. I will help
the people of my world".

When the children were almost done filling colors in all circles, they were asked why they had chosen specific colors for each circle.  While discussing the same, they were asked to write it down adjacent to the related circle. I wrote for some children as they spoke. Some children related 'my world' to the physical world around them and in 'my' circle, they filled their favourite colors. 

"I want to be in the police. The
color of the uniform of the police
is the same as the color of potato".

"My future will be colorful".

Then three children came and explained their activity sheet. Subsequent to this, we had a discussion on how each one of us is different and special. This is because all of us related different colors to different aspects in our life.

Discussion: Conquering self-doubt with self-belief

I tried to play a small video from the movie 'Chak De India' wherein the girls hockey team doubts themselves about winning from the boys and making it to the world cup. In the end, the boys give in to the girls, for their self-belief and confidence. Since we did not have speakers and the laptop speakers did not work well, this story was narrated to the children. Then the children had a small discussion on this. I did not interrupt the discussion. Next came the Jamvant story.

Jamvant Story - The search party led by Jamvant, the strong and bravest person of the bear race, reached on the seashore. Jamvant encouraged Hanuman Ji to give the Jump on to Lanka. Hanuman Ji, when being encouraged as such, filled with the lost powers, which were snatched from him, when he was a child, by the curse of a Rishi (SAINT), but he was also booned by the same RISHI, that he would get all the lost powers, when he would be encouraged by anybody reminding him about his powers. He crossed the vast sea taking a long great jump and met Sita Ji and gave her the message of Shri Ram.

Then we had a small discussion.

Me: Do we have Jamvant in our life to remind us of our powers?

Children: No.

Me: Then what can we do?

One child: We need to trust ourselves.

Me: Exactly. We need to trust ourselves that we are capable of doing everything. We need to be our own Jamvant.We need to trust ourselves and we need to keep reminding ourselves that we are awesome. We need to take that leap of faith.

Then we sang the song ' Hum ko Man ki Shakti Dena'.

Activity 2: Our words can have a negative effect on other's self-belief

A plain paper was showed to them and I told them that our hearts are like this paper. Then I crushed it and opened it back again. Then they were asked, if they feel bad when someone says something bad to them. They said yes. Then I told them that when we say something bad to anyone, it has a negative effect on their self-belief and it leaves creases on their heart, just like this crushed paper.

Activity 3: Main Kamaal Hun (I am awesome)

'I am awesome because.....'

The 'main kamaal hun' sheet was given to them and the song, 'kholo kholo darwaze' from the movie 'Taare Zameen par' was played in the background.

By now, the children seemed a bit engrossed in the whole idea of the session. They spread themselves comfortably around the room and were thinking and writing down. Then each one of them stood up and told everybody why they are awesome. Some said that they are awesome because they have belief in what they want to become, some said that they are awesome because they have a loving mother, while some wrote down about their school and friends.

'I am awesome'

I told them to keep their note with themselves and read it every day and bring it in the next session. Post this, we sang 'hum honge kamyab'. Then they were shown a chart on which 'main kamaal hun' was written.  Children said the same at the top of their voices. 

The end of the session....

"Didi, I liked that you came here today.
Come next week also. I love you". :-)

Some songs were played in the background and the children were told to write anything they wanted to and put it in the box of happiness. It could be anything,  a personal experience, a story, things they like, things they don't like, about the session's experience etc. They were told that these notes will be read in the next session only if they agree to it. Otherwise, they shall remain with me. While I cannot share all the notes, here are two of them.One small girl came to me and gave me a note. I told her to put it in the box. She insisted that I read it first. And here is what was written on it.

"Didi, I enjoyed today. I have started
believing in myself. I like you Didi". :-)

As I started to wrap up everything at around 4:45 pm, one small boy came and asked,'Jaa rahe ho didi? Ab kab aaoge? Pakka aana' (Are you leaving? When will you come next? Do come). I could only smile and wished with all my heart that this innocence never fades away.

When I came out of the session, Lalitha ji offered me lichi fruit juice. I drank it and waved her bye with a heart full of gratitude and happiness for trusting me with the children. 

As I stepped out and started leaving for the metro station, I could see now that the business at GB Road was about to start. Some women were standing out, while some men were scanning the brothels. But now I wasn't scared or sad. I had just been to the most beautiful place and spent time with the most beautiful people. A new faith was taking birth in my heart - if pure happiness and joy can exist in this place, then I can definitely keep walking forward with faith in my heart. If these children have so much courage and faith, I can at least show some courage and faith too*. 

For those smiles, for those happy faces, for that innocence, for that spark and courage, for that self-confidence, I will forever contribute to do all that I can, to make this world a more habitable place.

Until next time,
Keep Believing in Yourself! :-)

P.S. The next time you say anything derogatory against these children or their mothers, think twice. These children are same as our children. In fact, most of them seem to have better values and life principles than we 'normal' people are able to impart to our children. 

Special thanks to Skills for Life for designing this session. The session is far more enthralling than what has been described in this write up. :-)

*NOTE: It is suggested that anybody who wishes to work in this area, does so through an established and trusted NGO. This is not a place to explore casually; do take care of your safety first.