To The Salon With My Grand Mother (Maa)

My Grand Mother and Me

There is always at least one person in our lives with whom we seem to have a connection beyond eternity (as they say!). In my life, that person is my Grand Mother. I call her Maa, since always. We seem to be together, since always, and I am sure we will be together, always. A lot of 'always'!

My grand parents live in Aligarh, our home town. We live in Delhi. All our lives, we have been shifting places because my father is in a transferable job. And therefore, I never got to stay with my grand parents. But now, that is going to change. They are soon going to shift to Delhi with all of us, the thought of which makes me jump with happiness; even though, no amount of distance actually matters in our relationship. Since the first time the Doctor gave me in Maa's hands, our bond continues to be the same. We write letters, we talk endlessly on calls, and we meet as often as we can. 

I will definitely write more about her in the future blog posts. After all, she is my best friend and guide. However, this post is about a very beautiful experience with her. All experiences are magical with her, but this one demands to be written about now.

Since the past few times, whenever Maa visits us in Delhi, she goes to the salon with me. She had long black hair. However, after breast cancer, her hair refuse to grow longer. They only manage to touch her shoulder now. She likes to cut them a bit shorter, so that they do not touch her back. Otherwise, they prick in the hot summer.

Maa does not like to go to the salon in Aligarh because of the attitude of the people towards older people going to the salon. They can not appreciate her reasons; I do not understand their attitude. Maa has always been a revolutionary, someone who does not follow the customs of the world, until she is convinced of the logic behind them. I so admire her for this! She is indeed a true revolutionary. No wonder I have it in my genes! We go the salon here in Delhi because she feels assured and care free with me. It is a wonderful ritual now. I still remember the first time we visited the salon together. The young Ladies there were staring. I stared back in anger. She didn't bother, of course. 

Today, we planned to visit the salon at around 11:30 in the morning. It is around 1.5 kms from our home. I insisted that we go in a vehicle. She refused. She wanted to walk. I was a bit worried. But then we walked. All the way, I kept asking her if she is tired and needs a vehicle. And then, I felt stupid. It was such a stupid question from a Lady who can never get tired of life! She responded. "If I do not try, how will I know how far I can walk? I need to push my limits and remain active. If I believe, I can." I obliged. We reached there. The Lady at the salon welcomed her with a smile as this was not the first time we were visiting. Maa seems to establish a family like relationship with everyone she meets. I can never know how!

As she started to cut Maa's hair, I took out a comb from my bag and gave it to the saloon Lady. Maa won't let them use their comb to cut her hair, no matter how good the salon is. As her hair were being cut, she looked in the mirror. I stood behind her chair as she feels assured when I oversee the entire ritual. She says in between, "Pankhu, see if the length is okay now." I nod and give her reassuring looks. The salon Lady smiles.

Today, as I looked at Maa in the mirror, I could not help but feel with a heavy heart that - one day, I will not be able to live these moments. I swiftly tried to change my thoughts, because it is impossible for me to imagine this world without her. 

The hair cut ritual got over. The Lady asked her to check if it is okay. She never checks on her own. Maa always asks with assurance, "Pankhu, it is okay no?" I say with a smile, "Yes, it is perfect." As I stood besides Maa, the lady asked her about her health and they continued to talk for a while. Maa then asked her for the money we needed to pay. The Lady asked for Rs 130. Maa replied gently, "Last time you took Rs 95." She smiled and said, "Okay give Rs 110." I was about to intervene and say to Maa that may be, since the past two months, they increased the prices. But I remained silent. It was fun to see her dealing for money even at a salon! Only Maa can do this. Maa looked in her purse and gave her the money. The Lady then offered her to sit for some more time and then go. Maa politely replied, "Thank you, but we need to leave now. My daughter-in-law must be waiting for us to have lunch together." So we started to leave.

As we started to walk back home, I asked Maa if we should take a vehicle now. As expected, she refused. She held my hand and ensured that we cross the road safely. I realised - some things can never change. I will never grow up for her. As I grew older, I always imagined me holding her hand while we cross a road, but it will always be the other way round. We then reached back home chatting, and learning, of course.

I am sharing this anecdote to trigger two thoughts:

1. Why does age have to decide how we wish to be, how we wish to look, how we wish to live!? I am sure I will always like to live the way I want, the way I want to look, and not what this world expects of me.

2. We can never grow old for our parents and our grand parents. They continue to live every moment for us. Then why do they sometimes start to become an obligation for us?

I find my heaven and my home with my parents and my grand parents. I feel safe. I feel assured. Life seems easy.

I hope that we all can cherish this blessing in our lives.

With lots of love from Maa and Me,
Never get old at heart! :-)